Athazagoraphobia – Fear of Being Forgotten


My dear friend,

I’m sitting in a coffee shop, listening to our song being played through the small circular speakers in the ceiling. What a coincidence, right? It almost feels like you are with me at this moment. The slightly muffled melody brings me back to your bedroom. I still remember the times when we would have little dance parties in your room and sing at the top of our lungs until we ran out of breath. Yes, I do still remember those times. I know you think I forgot, but I still store all of our small memories in the back of my head.

It has been a while since we last spoke. As I am writing this to you, I am still remembering your face and the way your laugh sounded and what your hugs felt like. I remember so much about you even though it’s been months since I last saw you, or at least it feels like it.

I know we have moved on from each other, but I’ll be one hundred percent honest, there’s still a part of me that misses you and wishes you would come back. I know you won’t, though, and I understand that you can’t.

I apologize that I was only able to share in your happiness through dim lit screens. But, I am so glad you have found someone new to share your beautifully ambitious life with. Even though we no longer speak, I wish you the very best.   

I’m sorry that I never told you.  

But I hope you can understand.  

I still have my cuts and bruises from the past that occasionally reopen. It’s alright though, I’ve stocked up heavily on band aids. And though I may still be bleeding, I am so joyful to see that your own cuts are almost all healed. Even if my wounds never disappear, I will find happiness in your own recovery.  

With everything we’ve been through, my pain doesn’t trouble me any longer. It still hurts but I can be tolerant and move on from my own injuries. It’s you that I care about. It’s your pain that I want to take onto my own shoulders so that you no longer have to suffer. If it means you can find happiness, I will do it.  

Take my word.

I will.

Don’t worry about my own health. I fight my own battles and still come out alive. You don’t know this, but I have found a few new warriors that have been walking the same path as me. They’ve walked with me for nearly a year now and even took the time to stitch up my gashes.

So, as we both continue our journeys, I will leave you with this. As your friend, I simply wish you the very best life you can have even if that means you must let me go.

I just want you to be happy.

Sincerely,

The one who will never forget you ❤

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