Agathophobia – Fear of Kindness


So I recently invested in a small but wonderful bracelet from Hot Topic

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In case you can’t tell, this bracelet is made up of “dots” and “dashes.” It spells out a word in morse code. If you wanna solve the mystery on your own, here’s the code:

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If you don’t want to waste your time, scroll down

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My bracelet translates to “Ahole,” or in other words: Asshole. Now, I didn’t buy this bracelet to label myself as an asshole. I also didn’t buy it because it looks like a nice piece of meaningless jewelry. I bought it to remind myself of how shitty people can be sometimes (including myself). Every time I look down at my bracelet, I will think one of two things:

1)  “They are being an asshole to me, but hopefully, they don’t mean to”

Or

2)  “I am being an asshole, so stop being rude and choose kindness”

This code reminds me to be authentic. Since the norm for society seems to be “fight fire with more fire,” I want to remind myself that (for the most part), that is never going to work in my favor – I would know from personal experience. So instead, when someone is being rude, I simply need to take 5 seconds to be frustrated (mentally), and then calmly approach the situation with the intention to defuse any conflict. It also reminds me of a brilliant line from the tv show Lost:

Jack: “… And I knew I had to deal with it. So I just made a choice. I’d let the fear in. Let it take over. Let it do its thing. But only for five seconds. That’s all I was gonna give it. So I started to count to five. I could feel it inside — like when you drink a milkshake on a hot day. One, two, three, four, five. And it was gone.” – S1E1

Instead of fear, it would be anger, or frustration, or whatever negative emotion is present when dealing with difficult people. On top of that, I think it’s important to allow yourself to feel what the situation calls for. I believe it’s foolish to pretend you aren’t feeling negative when you are, but I also believe you shouldn’t act upon that negativity in a violent/extreme way. As everyone says, “communication is key” and if you want to express that something makes you upset, then do it. It doesn’t have to turn into a brawl of any sort (and if it does, then either you or the other person approached the situation incorrectly, causing it to escalate). If the other person (or people) truly are an asshole and think it’s entertaining to start a fight, then just walk away. There’s no point in fighting a bully (unless it’s through kind words).

Overall though, this bracelet is a reminder that humans make mistakes and have bad days. We can’t condemn them for it and we need to practice patience. Now, whenever I’m in a rough situation, I have a shiny reminder that no one is really the villain, it’s just one of those days – approaching it with positivity will make the difference  🙂

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